tube feeding

My love for Jeff went beyond any love I had ever felt before. I just wasn’t aware of it. What I was aware of was the fact that goodbyes are one of the hardest things in the world, and I never wanted to have to say my goodbyes to Jeff.

All of Jeff’s doctors assured us that he was at the top of the liver transplant list.  They kept telling us that he and his mom could get a call any day to drop everything and rush down to Umass Memorial Medical Center to be prepped for the most major, most life-changing surgery of his life. A surgery that could take his life span of months to a couple of years at the most, and add a lifetime onto it.We were in a race against time. There was a strong possibility that his liver cancer had returned. We were waiting on an appointment with a GI doctor, Dr. Xander to go over his scans. The even more frightening reality was that if his cancer actually had returned he would be immediately removed from the cancer list. I might have to say my goodbyes to him. I usually tried to put all thoughts of his mortality out of my head and just enjoy him, in the moment.