Dying is Too Scary
UTIs have to be the worst kind of torture imaginable. They make you feel like you are dying when they go septic. At that point, you really are dying.
In October 2016, I woke up one morning and felt like my whole bladder was throbbing and aching. I also felt like I needed to empty my bladder. It was only 5 AM, Jeff was still sleeping at his apartment, and it was way too early for Melody or Lauren to be there. Luckily they always left a basin full of packaged clean catheters on my bedside table, and a basin to put the bags of pee that disconnected from the straight catheters as well as the used catheters there as well.
When I tried to self-cath, it burned so badly that I almost screamed and only about 25 ml came out. Ten minutes later I felt like I had to pee again. Again, only about 25 ml came out. At that point, the pain was already so bad that I felt like I was dying and I hadn’t even hit the worst of it yet.
