My love for Jeff went beyond any love I had ever felt before. I just wasn’t aware of it. What I was aware of was the fact that goodbyes are one of the hardest things in the world, and I never wanted to have to say my goodbyes to Jeff.
All of Jeff’s doctors assured us that he was at the top of the liver transplant list. They kept telling us that he and his mom could get a call any day to drop everything and rush down to Umass Memorial Medical Center to be prepped for the most major, most life-changing surgery of his life. A surgery that could take his life span of months to a couple of years at the most, and add a lifetime onto it.We were in a race against time. There was a strong possibility that his liver cancer had returned. We were waiting on an appointment with a GI doctor, Dr. Xander to go over his scans. The even more frightening reality was that if his cancer actually had returned he would be immediately removed from the cancer list. I might have to say my goodbyes to him. I usually tried to put all thoughts of his mortality out of my head and just enjoy him, in the moment.
After Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, my mom drove Jeff and me back to Side by Side and life went back to its daily rhythm. However, the specter haunting the unspeakable background of our minds was the question of whether Jeff actually had cancer blooming within his belly. Would the presence of this possible cancer permanently remove him from the liver transplant list, which was his only chance at long-term survival?
Jeff had an appointment with Dr. Xander, his GI doctor coming up.
We tried to distract ourselves from the appointment by working on the “Intro to Judaism Class”, watching movies, and playing with our teddy bears, but no matter what, time was ticking by. It was only a matter of time before it was November 2nd and we found out whether or not Jeff really had cancer.
One day Jeff and I were lying in my bed playing Mad Libs. When out of the blue Jeff told me that he wanted to convert to Judaism.
“You what?” I asked shocked.
“I want to convert to Judaism,” he repeated.
“That’s like a major life-changing project,” I told him stunned.
“Whatever it takes, I will go to any lengths in the world to be with you. Your family is so important to you, and I know that. You can’t hide from me the fact that they don’t want us to be together because I’m not Jewish. The last thing I want to do is screw up anything with your relationship with your family. I want to be part of your family,” he explained.
“Well, I guess the first step would be starting to go to synagogue with me,” I told him. In the happiest state of shock possible.
Every Saturday I used the tickets my mom bought me for the handicapped bus to go to and from the all-morning synagogue service for the Sabbath. Jeff could ride with me for free as my escort.
Believe it or not, Jeff the funny clown with the potty mouth started going to synagogue with me every week. He honestly wanted to convert to Judaism and was giving it his all.
I spotted Jeff halfway across the kitchen, and for the first time in my life learned what it felt like to have a crush on someone. We became best friends during my first six months at Side by Side. The more I got to. know him, the more I knew that he was the man for me. When we finally began dating he even decided to go so far as to convert to Judaism for me so that my family would accept him. I loved him unconditionally but at one point we thought he had a death sentence.
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