After meeting with the Rabbi to go over what it will take to convert to Judaism, Jeff closes the door and turns to me. .“You are the highest maintenance girlfriend I have ever had. I am about to get naked in front of some crazy rabbi who is going to make me stick myself in the dick with a fucking blood sugar testing needle and then go skinny dipping in a collection of rainwater while singing prayers in a language I don’t know and know I will never be able to learn. Before I do that I’m going to have to sit through eight weeks of classes that I won’t be able to focus on or comprehend. The craziest thing is that I am going to do it all because I love you more than I can even express with words.
One day Jeff and I were lying in my bed playing Mad Libs. When out of the blue Jeff told me that he wanted to convert to Judaism.
“You what?” I asked shocked.
“I want to convert to Judaism,” he repeated.
“That’s like a major life-changing project,” I told him stunned.
“Whatever it takes, I will go to any lengths in the world to be with you. Your family is so important to you, and I know that. You can’t hide from me the fact that they don’t want us to be together because I’m not Jewish. The last thing I want to do is screw up anything with your relationship with your family. I want to be part of your family,” he explained.
“Well, I guess the first step would be starting to go to synagogue with me,” I told him. In the happiest state of shock possible.
Every Saturday I used the tickets my mom bought me for the handicapped bus to go to and from the all-morning synagogue service for the Sabbath. Jeff could ride with me for free as my escort.
Believe it or not, Jeff the funny clown with the potty mouth started going to synagogue with me every week. He honestly wanted to convert to Judaism and was giving it his all.
I spotted Jeff halfway across the kitchen, and for the first time in my life learned what it felt like to have a crush on someone. We became best friends during my first six months at Side by Side. The more I got to. know him, the more I knew that he was the man for me. When we finally began dating he even decided to go so far as to convert to Judaism for me so that my family would accept him. I loved him unconditionally but at one point we thought he had a death sentence.
It took a few days for the fog in my head to clear.. When it finally did, I realized that I was in the ICU. Once I figure out where I was, I couldn’t remember what had happened to land me there. It took a couple more hours to piece things back together in my misty brain. I had gone from having some aching in my suprapubic area to full-blown sepsis. This had happened over the course of less than 24 hours. The day I went to the hospital, I made it halfway through the day. Then suddenly I felt like I was in Antarctica. The chills were so bad that they invaded even the marrow of my bones. In the middle of an online monopoly I terrified Jeff by passing out. He had no choice but to call 911.
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